Farewell

In Memory of Father Ted Valencia

September 29, 2007

Eulogy delivered at Holy Family Church, Missouri City, Texas

Father Ted loved Houston, and very much enjoyed his mission here at Holy Family – the people – and serving the people. Though him we are linked; we all care for him. Today, on behalf of the family, we want to offer our perspective on Father Ted to you who got to know him here and to you who worshiped with him here. Some of his life you likely know, some of it you may not. You also know aspects that we do not, and we’d love to hear your thoughts about this special man who touched us all.


As evidenced by the moving outpouring of love and grief in the United States, Canada, and the Philippines, Father Ted was beloved to many. Family, friends and parishioners are reminiscencecing about his life and his legacy, and inevitably the reminiscences turn to reflections on his creativity and intelligence – his warmth and sense of humor. Most of all he is remembered for his caring nature and the help he gave to so many people he encountered in life. But to start here would be getting ahead of myself, and Father Ted always loved a good story.


At the time of his birth, the Philippines just began healing and rebuilding from the atrocities of the Japanese occupation. Culturally and politically, with the expulsion of the Japanese and the culmination of the independence movement from the United States, which had begun prior to the war, there was a forward-looking spirit of opportunity and great expectations. The Republic of the Philippines had recently become independent from the United States on July 4, 1946 – three month before the birth of Teddy – as Father Ted was called at that time. Having been the Asian colony of Spain for 300 years, and an American territory from 1898 until 1946, there is a unique blend of east and west in the Philippines, with a strong Spanish, Mexican and American legacy. As you may know, the Philippines was ruled by Spain from Mexico. Philippine history has been famously summarized and much quoted as having spent three centuries in a convent, and 50 years in Hollywood.


It was into this time and place that Thaddeus Trifilo Sergio Tuliao Valencia was born to Loreto and Teodoro Valencia shortly after World War II on September 9, 1946 in the small town of Dingras, Ilocos Norte province in the northeast corner of the Philippine Islands. Dingras is a roughly 10-hour drive north of the Philippine capital city, Manila. His family had lived in that area for generations, so the town was populated by many of the extended family and friends. He was the seventh of eleven siblings in the Madamba-Valencia family. He was named after Saint Jude Thaddeus, the saint of the possible.


As a child he sometimes stayed with his parents in the capital city, Manila, and sometimes with his oldest sister, Nora, who took care of him after the next Valencia baby arrived – Teresita – who was sickly, in need extra attention, and tragically died young. This began the close bond with his sister Nora, who was 16 years older than Teddy. In June of 1951 Teddy entered the first grade at the age of five in Dingras. He stayed with Nora until they moved to Manila to join the rest of the family.


From a young age, Teddy was very curious, intelligent, inquisitive and always eager to learn something new. These are all qualities that never left him, and that served him well throughout his lifetime. With the devoutness and religious influence of not only his society, but also more importantly his mother, Loreto, and sister, Nora, in 1957 he entered the Minor Diocesan Seminary in Vigan, Ilocos Sur province, near Dingras.


He finished high school there. There were occasional open houses in the Seminary. Teddy's other older sister, Mel recalls him at those open houses proudly displaying the set of monogrammed towels and bedspread, which Nora sent from United States where she had relocated. During vacations, Teddy and Mel enjoyed cooking and eating the food they made. He was generally very adventurous and it was around this time the family learned he had a good singing voice.


Unusual for one so young, at an early age he did not entertain gossip or put-downs. He went to the source. His younger sister, Thelma, told him about a neighbor talking about a family member, so he had to find out what was going on. He was a good communicator – kind and respectful but firm – and these traits always stayed with him. His writings, his creativity also stood out as very strong amongst his peers. Beyond his strong character, communications skills and creativity, he had an aptitude for languages. He knew Latin and was fluent in Spanish, English and several Filipino dialects.


In 1965 Teddy began studying Philosophy at University of Santo Tomas Seminary in Manila. He was awarded a scholarship from the St. Augustine Seminary in the Philippines, but when this scholarship was refused to his deserving friends, he chose to decline on principal for what he believed to be, at best, unjust. He was not afraid to face the consequences of not continuing to pursue matriculation to the Augustine Seminary, but he remained focused on his goal.


Throughout this formative time in his life, when Teddy decided to learn something, he usually taught himself how to do it, and then he became proficient fairly quickly. He taught himself how to play the piano, without formal training. He took up painting, and created some memorable canvases. He loved other cultures, cuisines, customs, and art – particularly those of Spanish, American, and Asian lands – which are those cultures that had the most influence on the Philippines. Later he took up the flute at the same time his niece Mary Jo did. While Mary Jo was given lessons, Father Ted taught himself how to play. He also taught himself how to play the guitar. He proceeded to compose original music.


In 1968, amidst the Vietnam War nearby, across the South China Sea, and amidst the domestic turmoil in the United States, Teddy made the monumental decision to relocate from the Philippines to Chicago to pursue his desire to be a priest. In 1969, he joined the Redemptorists in Canada after researching the different priestly orders available to join. He was affected by the ripple effects of the Vatican II Council, when the Redemptorist’s central province to which he was assigned had to close because both the Provincial and Novice Master left the order.


In July of 1971 he became the first coordinator of Silayan Filipino Community Center -- a resource for the Filipino Community in Toronto that provided drop in counseling, referrals etc. This position enabled him to network. In 1972 Teddy furthered his education focusing on Philosophy and Theology at St. Michael's College. He became the Circulation Manager for St. Michael's College Library. St Michael’s College was run by the Congregation of Saint Basil, a teaching order of priests in Canada, the US and Latin America.


In 1974 Teddy took the first steps to officially become a priest in the Congregation of Saint Basil (CSB), since he believed in their teaching mission, and believed the close-knit CSB order best fit with his vision of priestly service. He started his novitiate with the Congregation of St. Basil's in Rochester, New York and at the same time taught at St. Thomas Aquinas Institute. In 1975 he took his First Vows at St. Basil's Novitiate, also located in Rochester, New York. In October 1977 - appointed as director of the Centro Cultural de Aragon, which is a residence for Mexican students run by the Basilian Priests. There, he was ordained as a Deacon by Most Rev. Ernesto Corripio Alumada, the Archbishop of Mexico City.


One of his proudest days was June 2, 1979 when he became the first Filipino to be ordained a priest by the Congregation of St. Basil's in Canada. This ordination was officiated by Cardinal George Flahiff at St. Basil's Church in Toronto, Canada. This was attended by all of Father Ted’s relatives in North America – his Mother Loreto, five brothers and sisters and six nieces and nephews. It was an extremely momentous event in his life and the family was not only very honored that he had chosen this life of service and prayer but also that he had achieved his goal of becoming a priest in an order and environment he was most comfortable with.


Father Ted’s first assignment as a priest was at St. Basil’s Church in Toronto. He became known for his sermons, which he spent quite a bit of time preparing every week in the beginning. Later they would come quicker, but they were always characterized by a moving story, or a personal experience, or a different perspective. I found them to be very relevant and resonant. I believe others did, too, because attendance at the parish was increased during his tenure. After a while he became the Pastor at St Basil’s Church.


In addition to regular priestly duties, he also continued to focus his energy on serving the large Filipino community in Toronto:
➢ In April 1981 - he established the first Missionary Chaplaincy for the Filipinos in Toronto through the auspices of His Eminence Gerald Emmett Cardinal Carter.
➢ A few months later, in August 1981, He organized the first Annual Filipino Pilgrimage to the historical martyr's shrine together with Sr. Maria Paz, a Filipino nun who has been a longtime close family friend.
➢ Additionally, he introduced the devotion of Santo Nino de Cebu, bringing the statue from the Philippines.
➢ He also introduced the devotion to Lorenzo Ruiz, who subsequently became the first Saint from the Philippines. He worked on this with the Ultreya.
➢ When San Lorenzo Ruiz was beatified, together with the Filipino community, he spearheaded the installation of the statue at Youngstown, N.Y., Our Lady of Fatima shrine.
➢ In January 1985 – in collaboration with different organizations – they formed the Blessed Lorenzo Ruiz group to build a multi-purpose community centre, both as a place of worship and social function.
➢ On October 18, 1987 for the canonization of San Lorenzo Ruiz, Fr. Ted was privileged to concelebrate mass with Pope John Paul II. This was another highlight in his life.
The Filipino community in Toronto really embraced Fr. Ted as a leader, and he was always in demand for weddings, baptisms, anointings, and funerals in the community. All this kept him completely booked most of the time. He did try to take one or sometimes two days off per week to rest, recharge, and devote to family or leisure.


Throughout the Toronto years, he acted as a mentor to his nephew Ed. Ed spent his childhood summers in Toronto and Orelia with his uncle in the years prior to college. Father Ted encouraged Ed to read, to pursue his passions, to explore, and to be an upstanding individual. Ed Remembers Father Ted’s generosity:
“I remember Uncle Teddy as a man who was very generous of giving himself -- both in giving time, and in giving knowledge. Uncle Teddy taught me so much about the world, and he always encouraged me to follow my passions. For example, when I became interested in photography, he showed me how to use his Pentax k1000 manual 35mm camera. Later he gave the camera to me, and encouraged me to develop my photographic ability. Uncle Teddy was a prolific photographer, enjoying the act of documenting special events, candid moments, fleeting time. He literally must have tens of thousands of photographs.
We also spent time walking in nature, swimming, going to the movies, and visiting our relatives in Toronto. Eating was always an event. I was a very picky kid when it came to food. He really expanded my horizons. My grandmother – his mother – was also living in Toronto during those years, and Father Ted and she were quite close, so spending that time up in Toronto, I also got to know Lola better.
In terms of reading, he also showed me some things I could really get behind. Comics and Science Fiction are like heaven at my age back then, and he introduced me to those. He always urged me to read at least an hour a night, which was good for me.”


The family of his brother Tito and his sister Mel benefited from proximity to Father Ted or Uncle Teddy as we call him. His niece Marita recalls:

“I was blessed to have grown up in Toronto while he was living there because I got to spend so much time with him. Every week on his days off, he would pick me up from school. Often times, we would go out to eat, but thinking back on those memories now, I do recall going grocery shopping with him and making Filipino dishes or buying and steaming our own crabs as well. He enjoyed cooking and he was really good at it too. He was a man of many talents.
I agree with my cousin about Uncle Teddy encouraging us to follow our passions. Whether it was photography, or playing a musical instrument, or karaoke, Uncle Teddy always encouraged us to find something that we love and be really good at it….
I think in some way, each of us carries a piece of him with us whether or not we realize it, because we were all touched by his life and his love for us.”


It was during his years in Toronto when he learned Karate. His sister Mel won a raffle that had the karate lessons as a prize. When she told Uncle Teddy she would not be utilizing those lessons, he said he would. It was a great outlet to his hectic schedule, and imposed discipline. It also connected him to ancient Asian practices and culture. He quickly mastered the routines and became a black belt. The Karate training served him well when one day he was walking from St Basil’s Church in Toronto to the neighboring rectory, and some unfortunate soul tried to rob the offering/collection bag from the mass just completed. Father Ted used his karate training to neutralize the threat and hold him until the police could arrive. Interestingly enough, at first glance and until the situation was clarified to them, the police thought Fr Ted was the robber, since the real robber was injured, and looked like he was the victim rather than the perpetrator. As many of you know, he also taught Karate here and in his previous parish in Angelton, TX. He was great at passing on his knowledge and skills to the younger generation. Learning Karate also ignited a passion for Asian routines and customs. He became very interested in the Japanese Tea Ceremony, the Samurai traditions, and others.


One area of our most treasured memories is Uncle Teddy’s sense of humor, which was sometimes irreverent. Even if we can no longer remember the exact comments or situations we all have memories of laughing for hours with Uncle Teddy. Niece Geraldine remembers one time that speaks both to Uncle Teddy’s love of food, and his sense of humor:
Uncle Teddy always appreciated a good meal and even moreso appreciated when others appreciated a good meal. Once when Marita and I went to visit him in Texas, he took us out for oysters. First, he ordered one plate, which we split 3 ways. It was my first time to try fresh oysters, but I liked them. When I told Uncle Teddy that they were good, his wicked sense of humor came out. He ordered another plateful, just for me. Although I did like the oysters, I didn't really feel up to eating an entire plate of them by myself. However, protests were of no use.

"Geraldine, I bought you these oysters, because you said you liked them. You have to eat them. You can't waste food."

"O.K. Uncle Teddy, I'll try to finish them."

When I was done eating, I proudly told him, "Uncle Teddy I'm done."

His response? "Geraldine, you pig!! I can't believe you ate the whole plate by yourself!"


Of course this resulted in sidesplitting laughter. I know many of you have such stories of how Father Ted touched you. One other observance is that Father Ted became a more and more genuine Texan in his 22 years as pastor in Angelton and Missouri City. We noticed a slight Texan accent. He became a BBQ connoisseur. He enjoyed his time here with you, and we are grateful to you for welcoming him and becoming his family here. Thank you


Please share your remembrances of Father Ted with us. This can be done by sending an email to kinsella5555@aol.com, and we will reply with the site on which we are posting them.


While the 61 years Father Ted had do not seem like enough, we are grateful for the time we had together. He lived a very full and accomplished life, and we know he touched and influenced thousands in his lifetime. He lives on and I believe he watches over each of us: friends, family and parishioners. We’d like to close with this Prayer:

Dear Uncle Teddy:
You were a good man, an inspiration and an example. We hope to make you proud, to live more like you: grounded and genuine, simply and honestly. We hope to follow our passions in life, surround ourselves with good and positive people food and things, and live our best life possible. We hope to always learn and to teach. We hope to find ways to help our family, friends, neighbors and strangers. Thank you for everything. We miss you. Farewell Uncle Teddy until we meet again.